Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I could fuck to npr.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Randomize
