I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Randomize
