So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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