I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Randomize
