Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Randomize