they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
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