I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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