Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
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