Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Randomize
