if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
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