I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
