Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
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