By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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