I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
