I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
