He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
