my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
