new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Randomize
