i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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