Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I've blown a few things in my day
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
