I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize