Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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