I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Randomize
