I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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