just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
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