Duck Duck Cougar?
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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