You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
