What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Randomize
