Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Omg I joined a choir last night...
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
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