and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
