Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
That's when you crack a 10am beer
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Randomize
