He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
