used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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