Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
