Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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