i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
