yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
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