Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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