Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize