I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
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