I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
my liver is dry heaving
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