yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Randomize
