i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
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