it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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