I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
only you would photoshop your dick
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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