My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Randomize
