I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Randomize
