i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
The struggles of a small town man whore
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
