Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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