what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Randomize
