Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
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