Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Randomize
