4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
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