Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
