best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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