Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
