just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Randomize
