I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
My ATM looks so different sober.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
My vagina is officially offended.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
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