it was like his penis was on wheels.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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