I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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