i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Randomize