There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
