just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
