I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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