Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
