just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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