O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Randomize
