Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
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