Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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