Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Randomize
