so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
